I grew up hating them, but now, I love them more than ever. One word: socks. I’m not sure where my strange vehemence for the pre-shoe article came from, but, as a child, I was always barefoot. I suppose I didn’t like feeling trapped or limited by my feet accessories. I would even wear my sneakers without socks and my off-brand Ugg boots! However, this caused an untamable stench in my 5th-grade locker that I’m pretty sure my parents got an email home about, which was definitely embarrassing at the moment, yet quite comical in hindsight. The only sock “type” you would see me wearing from age 0-12 was ankle socks, which are actually somewhat poorly designed socks because I only ever remember them falling down and me getting chronic ankle blisters.
Anyway, as I grew and began to understand the true beauty of socks, I fell in love with the calf sock. Of course, I don’t wear it all the way up my calf, like a middle-aged father at an amusement park, I wear it rolled down so it rises to just below my calf. Now, I know what some of you are thinking, “Kelly, why don’t you just buy the quarter rise socks?” I guess I don’t really know … I think I’m kind of a sock freak … Maybe a Hanes-iac or a Fruit of the Loom-atic. I don’t know many other sock freaks, but I for sure am one. It causes me such displeasure when I can’t wear my preferred length of sock. Sometimes I will persevere if I need to wear other types, so I don’t think it’s life-threatening. Nonetheless, I started really obsessing over my calf socks probably when I got to college.
Now, besides me being a mon-sock-sity (sock puns are hard!), I do have a dilemma. I can’t seem to keep my socks in good shape, they always develop holes before too long. Now, this could be from a myriad of factors; long toenails, cheap material, sharp shoe soles? What I know for sure is that it bothers me! You’d think for how long humans have been wearing socks we’d have some sturdy garments! I know that I could invest in some higher class socks such as Bombas, but part of me cannot justify spending TWELVE DOLLARS on a pair of socks! That’s four Dunkin’ Donuts breakfast sandwiches. If you know how much I love Dunkin’ Breakfast you would know how preposterous that metaphor is. However, I respect Bomba, it’s a hell of a company. They make their socks ethically and donate a pair for each pair bought. So, in that case, touché Bomba, touché.
Now, how can I solve this problem? I know as much as you do. I’m still working on it. However, this whole sock thought experiment I’ve conducted while writing this article has got me re-evaluating my schema of “sock.” Can I sew my own socks? Maybe. Can I crochet my own socks? Oh, yeah, for sure. So, perhaps, I will go that route. But, in reality, I’m just whiny because the six for $5 pack of socks I bought from Target keeps getting holes in the toe. It’s so easy to walk into the Target and buy a pack of cute socks, amongst $200 in other things I didn’t need, and walk out. Perhaps, the sock is teaching us a lesson. A lesson that quality should come before quantity, and I love the sock for that. Maybe we should all listen to our socks a bit more in 2021. Thank you, sock, and all you do for my feet, even though you do break after six or seven wears.