Bunke’s Blurb

Alex Bunke

Alex Schaaf, A&E editor, recently compiled a rather tepid and bland Best Music of ’08 feature for The Lawrentian. Looking back upon my insightful contribution to the feature, I am forced to recognize a horrible failure. Nowhere on my list did I mention Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies.” Since that list was published, I have decided that “Single Ladies” is the ONLY song from 2008 of any consequence. Nothing else can be relevant when “Single Ladies” is on the table.
Each week I scour the list of Conservatory vocal recitals and their programs, and each week I am disheartened to find that no one will be singing “Single Ladies.” In the Viking Room, where “Single Ladies” is frequently played through an aging and inadequate sound system, the song doesn’t get the respect that it deserves. Upon those first glorious bass drum pops and synthesizer glissandos, an audience should rise to its feet and thank God for such sonic bliss.
“Single Ladies” has a strange and wonderful power over me. Walking in to Plantz, “Single Ladies” prevents me from accosting the incorrigible lounge-dwellers and lashing them until they go to their rooms. Entering the fourth-floor corridor of Plantz, “Single Ladies” takes my mind away from the perpetual smell of cheese and vomit. Sitting in my room in Plantz, “Single Ladies” drowns out the sound of a mournful French horn concerto playing next door, as it tries to claw its way through the cinderblock wall, much like the freshmen single ladies who have been trying to claw their way into my room ever since my return from London.

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