This week, the entire staff at the information desk at the union had to spend at least part of their shift cutting out little brightly colored hands with the phrase “Wash Your Hands!!” scrawled across them in whimsical print. Not only was the task meaningless and dependent on motor skills that I don’t have, it seemed a little pointless. My guess is that the people who aren’t washing their hands are not doing so because of amnesia brought on by urinals and cheaply made toilet paper – it is a lifestyle choice. There was a girl on my floor this year who never washed her hands upon exiting the bathroom. She failed to notice my glares in the mirror as a sign to adopt proper hygiene, so I never saw her once partake in the simplest act of sanitation there is. Therefore, unless she can produce a doctor’s note assuring me that her snatch produces nothing but hand sanitizer and Pine Fresh All-purpose Cleaner, I am going to believe that she is the reason we all have swine flu. The various and sundry diseases and health scares that have been floating around campus have served to highlight the fact that we all think we’re invincible. Sure, we drink a lot and pretend there aren’t consequences – that’s standard collegiate procedure. Yes, we don’t do our work ’til the last minute – isn’t that real life too? But not washing your hands? Not knowing that you should cover your cough? This isn’t entitlement, this is willful forgetting of the most important lessons learned in kindergarten. Drink as much as you want, get hit by a car, but don’t go straight from pee to door handle. I’ve got to touch that handle: I don’t have to listen to you sing Journey after six jager bombs. It’s about respect folks, R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Just like taking your little stop-and-chat away from the salad bar so others can use it, adopt basic hygiene for the sake of those around you. If for no other reason than saving 12 perfectly good info desk workers from having to forgo playing text twist to cut out stupid little paper reminders of things you should know by now. Now, don’t forget to brush your teeth and don’t drink the dish soap. Nora out.