Fat, some may say I am. But, that is beyond the point. I have a gut and I will use that stored potential energy by putting it to work destroying the terrible staleness of this current Lawrence environment. In this vote you are left a simple choice to vote for an American like Nader would want you to. Take flights, go on vacations, and spend time with people who like to drink from common containers. I am an American. Do what Simonson would do. Fast and Furious, yes it’s true; I am a tiger with the ladies. But back to the point. I need your vote. I also like hot tubbing and sushi bars, but I absolutely love getting caught in the rain. With the laid back environment that Bill Schreiter (me) will produce, the overall level of excellence of work will drop. This will lead to lower expectations by the professors, offering the opportunity to work less while maintaining the same grades. The workload would then be comparable with the average state school. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not looking to create a UW-Oshkosh here. I have some pride. If I am elected there will be common containers on campus again, cable hookups will be in all rooms, and Marxist theory will be part of freshman studies. As I drunkenly stumble to the finish, I would like to recommend the liberalization of the Lawrence population. This can only be done with an iron fist in the LUCC office like myself. A message to the rest of my fellow candidates: You better bring it on! Chris Worman, your two years are over. My name is Bill Schreiter and I will be the LUCC president!