The Lawrence community was crushed to find that violin professor Anton Miller has left the conservatory to teach at the Hartt School of Music. Soon after Miller made the announcement, he and his students parted the Fox River and began their trek to West Hartford, Conn.
The parting of the Fox occurred at precisely 12:07 p.m. last Tuesday. Miller stepped onto the banks of the river and raised his violin bow high into the air, at which time the river seemed to split down the middle, leaving a wide swatch of earth upon which the professor and his students trod.
Miller and his followers were not alone, however. Orchestra conductor Robert Debbaut was hot on their heels, followed closely by the rest of the orchestra. They aimed to stop Miller before he could cross the river, but Debbaut and his orchestra were swallowed up by the Fox before they could reach the other side. No bodies have been recovered as of press time.
It is expected that now that Miller and his students have made their exodus, they will wander the country for forty years, much like Moses and his followers did after leaving Egypt. However, they might just book a flight and go straight to Hartt.