All too often, The Lawrentian criticizes student organizations and LUCC subcommittees. But it’s high time, in all seriousness, that the Lawrence community says “Thanks!” to these very important institutions. We don’t always get to list their accomplishments in one place, but let’s take a look at how our esteemed peers are helping out on campus, for good or ill, just in time for the LUCC changeover.
Committee on Committees
Committee on committees has had a great year. Despite baseless claims of redundancy, the COC has done a good job purging the other subcommittees of Betas. This is something of interest to the entire campus, Betas especially: all work and no play make Adam Locke a dull boy.
Polling and Elections Committee
The PEL handled a difficult situation—having only two candidates for the LUCC election—in the most efficient manner possible. Some may be dismayed, however, that they allowed two Delts to file, and win, after the deadline. That is not a bad thing, though. It’s important to remember that a Delt is STILL better than a Beta. At least Delts have a reputation of some sorts. Betas are just as bad, but they lack the charisma requisite to being the lovable creepy guys of the campus.
The laptop system, wherein multiple polling places were allowed, worked out very well. But The Lawrentian legislation passed last year SPECIFICALLY states that no Presidential candidate may have silent letters in his/her name. “Haquebord” is in clear violation of that principle, as is Delaney for that matter. Jamie Howard, in retrospect, fit the bill. Worman also, admittedly, would have been allowed under our policy. But Adam Locke would have been rejected right out.
Committee On Environmental Responsibility
The CER scored a major victory last month: Downer will stop serving vegan/vegetarian/Kosher/or organic foods starting third term; in exchange, food services head Bill Fortune agreed to sign a non-binding agreement stating that Downer or Lucinda’s will NOT do direct business with the International Monetary Fund or World Bank. The Clean Plate Club has had a dramatic effect on reducing campus waste. Since vegans/vegetarians/Jews/spoileduppermiddleclass college students will no longer be frequenting Downer, food intake will cut in half! A proposal by Adam Locke to the CER also goes into effect today: All female diners will step on a scale upon having their cards swiped, and the weight will be flashed on a 40” screen, whereupon Hilga recommends a portion size. Oh, and there’s no longer a paper waste problem on campus or a litter problem. Way to go, CER!!!!
Student Welfare Committee
The Student Welfare Committee has accomplished so much this year! Before the SWC convened, there was no forum for the most obstinate students to butt heads with the most obstinate staff representatives. But with the help of the SWC, these constituencies have come together and fixed the parking problems, CLEARLY marking which spots are for what type of drivers. Adam Locke was discussed at length. Off campus constituents still don’t receive voicemails, but at least campus services knows about it nowJ Physical Plant has sped up their work schedule, Dean Truesdell has stopped doing business with the world bank, and Vince from campus services is able to take an hour each Monday afternoon off from the particularly strenuous hours he keeps, running himself ragged and cutting costs wherever it is “called” for ALL in the name of Student Welfare! Way to go, Vince!
Steering Committee
They did a nice job, considering they were less necessary this year, as [Adam Locke joke to be inserted later.] The Steering Committee helped Delaney make sweeping changes, as promised, in laundry, parking, housing selection, and…Well, at least meetings weren’t a joke this year…Wait…Speaking of jokes…
Residence Life Committee
Despite once again granting housing to Adam Locke, the Res. Life committee has done great things with our tuition! For example, finals pancakes, and added safety during midterm reading break, whereupon doors are locked to prevent against breakins from townies who otherwise wouldn’t be interested in breaking into Lawrence buildings. Other accomplishments include remaining uptight and taking things waaaaaaaaaaaaay too seriously. And Formal Group housing seems to be a rousing success, inspiring a lawsuit, a “hell-yes” from Sinfonians, and—gah—a sorority house. Our opinion of the Res. Life Committee is in no way—we repeat, IN NO WAY—related to the outright rejection of the Lawrentian-themed house last year. Really, there’s no relationship.
Finance Committee
Despite a troubling allocation to the “Trivia Masters J-board Defense Fund,” the Finance committee has been efficient and fair. To say otherwise would counter the unspoken agreement we made with Cene Ketcham last year, whereupon he took over from Adam Locke. Nice job, Finance Committee. And Ned Connors, be prepared to drop the double N. That’s all we ask.