Students prefer gender opposite housing

Steve Martin

The Department of Residence Life revealed the results of its recent survey on housing and gender Thursday. According to Residence Life dean Amy Uecke, 87 percent of respondents responded in favor of gender opposite housing.
“This is somewhat confusing to us,” Uecke said. “Gender-opposite wasn’t one of the options on the survey.”
Nevertheless, Residence Life has plans for campuswide implementation of the student suggestions next year. Students have been enthusiastic about the change.
“As a bio/piano double major, I don’t have much time for dating or relationships,” one Lawrentian sophomore said. “This should ease my time commitments considerably.”
“We’re very pleased with the change,” said College Republicans president Michael Papincak. “We’re a little worried about the decay of family values this change might inspire, but we’re just so glad we won’t be living with same-sex roommates. I mean, it was kind of . you know.”
When told that we didn’t know, Michael Papincak declined to explain his comments on record.
The Lawrentian attempted to contact LU fraternities to ask if they were worried they would not be able to maintain the tradition of single-sex fraternity housing, but reporters were not able to hear any replies over festive music.
“WOOOO!” one student was heard to remark, adding, “WOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
According to dean of students Nancy Truesdell, the change to gender opposite housing will be accompanied by changes in the housing selection process to match student suggestions. Instead of the usual meet-a-roommate gathering for students without roommates, there will be two events: a roommate auction of eligible roommates for charity, and the Sig Ep Pimps and Hos Meet Your Roommate party.
Students who will be going off campus for one or more terms will not be issued housing until after they return to campus and obtain official results from certain medical tests.