It’s 2008. With the dawning of a new year, many people have the desire to change their behavior for the better and tell themselves, “This year is going to be different and I am going to do this and change that and this,” etcetera.This idealistic change of behavior is known as a “Resolution.” We all tend to have them — or at least try to.
Here are some common romance related resolutions someone may have:
“I am going to really settle down this year and be in a serious relationship,” or “I am finally going to start being true to my stud potential and be a hurricane of a pimp this year.”
The common thread between these two statements is their extremity: both are absolute in their goal. We all need to understand an automatic transformation of behavior may be ideal, but goals such as these are unrealistic.
People’s romantic tendencies and behavior are conditioned by past relationships and behavior itself. Drastic change, such as deciding, “I want to be in a serious relationship this year,” is flawed in and of itself because you cannot just make yourself more of a stable boy/girlfriend person.
You need to realize that just because 2007 was a bad year for love does not necessarily mean that 2008 will be that much better or worse.
For the resolution “I want to be more of a playa this year” to happen, one has to be patient and embark on a challenging process in which one watches more chick flicks and listens to someone like John Mayer.
Changing your behavior is difficult but possible. You can be less or more of a catch but you have to attack the problem and its roots and build new ones.
Watching shows like “Tila Tequila” or “America’s Next Top Model” are sadly not going to make you an expert in love. Rather, you need to think of ways to make yourself more of an object of desire: what features of yourself are your strengths?
What are your weaknesses? In order to change your previous behavior you have to do some introspection and examine what sorts of things prevent you from attaining your stud/hottie or serious boy/girlfriend potential.
For instance, spending all day playing video games or watching downright horrible dating shows surprisingly does not aid in your goal of being the créme de la créme of the dating world.
Instead, try other things that might enhance your dating prowess — like reading books, or perhaps checking into some of the classier romantic movies.
The point is — it’s a new year, and yes, it’s nice to change things for the better, but be patient and logical when considering taking Natalie Portman or Brad Pitt out for dinner and a movie: don’t do McDonald’s followed by “Waterworld” on your laptop.
If you happen to have any romantic comments or inquiries you would like to see discussed in this advice column anonymously — feel free to e-mail me at patrickz@lawrence.edu.