LaWarchian hits funny bone, U.S.

Jessie Augustyn

The staff of The Lawrentian. takes great pride in our annual April 1 satire issue, and usually, we’re the only game in town. But this year, we had competition, and boy, was it stiff.As many of you have probably seen, The LaWarchian has been showing up not only on campus, but also across the country, wherever good-humored alumni tend to dwell. The 12-page, New York Review of Books-esque issue contained satire, all of it relating to President Warch and Lawrence, and was put together by a group of alumni through extensive email communication. The issue was heavy with references to Warch’s hair (he is frequently referred to as “Silver” or other such names) as well as jabs at his eyebrows (see caption of Warch on page 8, “I considered suicide, then shaving my eyebrows”).

Despite the jabs, Warch had nothing but good things to say about the issue. “I loved it,” he said. “I read it… and I just couldn’t stop laughing.” He continued, “The authors referred to it as affectionate abuse. [I’m not sure] about the adjective, but I can confirm the noun.”

Two of Warch’s favorite articles were “The Art of Warch: Mastering the Unamethod,” and the review of his book, both of which he referred to as “exceedingly clever.” He also found the juxtaposition of his own photo and Captain Kangaroo “very alarming” as well as funny.

When asked if there were any articles he would have liked to see, Warch commented, “I believe they hit all the buttons… without being too mean.” He also commented that the authors were very thorough and did a great deal of research, even digging back to his time at Yale to get at every angle.

After the publication, Warch looked up the majors of the 19 authors, who came from just about every area of study. He was very proud of the former students, noting that, “They have all done incredibly diverse, interesting things,” and this is reflected in the writing of The LaWarchian. For example, the article “Warch’s Last Supper Club” was written by a restaurant owner.

Warch currently has no plans for revenge, although he did get in some light ribbing towards the authors at the Chicago alumni event (where the paper had also been distributed, incidentally).

“I was flattered by it,” said Warch. With a tinge of sadness and a bit of pride he ended, “What a wonderful going-away present.