The Bachelor: Comedic value over romantic ideals

For those of you who don’t know already, the hit “reality” television show “The Bachelor” has disgraced us with its presence once again. That’s right, the show where 25 people compete for the attention, affection and ultimately the love of one individual, with all of the drama and amusing social absurdities captured on camera for you to watch. Or not watch. I recommend the latter.

There are those who claim that “The Bachelor” and its partner in crime, “The Bachelorette,” are the most romantic shows on television, shows that provide hope for the rest of us by showing others in pursuit of true love or something along those crooked lines.

Yet I’m writing in an attempt to put a stop to that nonsense and hopefully bring people into the light of reason. And sanity.

In the beginning of this article, you may have noticed that I placed quotation marks around the word “reality.” The basis of this show is anything but real. There. I’ve implied it, and now I’ve stated it explicitly. I believe I’ve made myself clear.

I’d like to point out that my argument is not based on the idea I have in my head merely from what I know of the premise of this show. No, I have in fact watched the first two episodes of the newest season of “The Bachelor”—for research purposes, of course.

The first episode provides the most value for viewers – comedically, I mean. It is in this episode that each contestant—for lack of a better term—is introduced to the bachelor. They all try to make their introductions memorable, while most simply come off as psychotic and desperate as they attempt back flips, sing songs and forget to mention their names.

After everyone has become initially acquainted with this guy that they all want to marry, even though they just met him, then all of the girls begin to vie for his attention and try to let him know what sets them apart from the other girls.

Interestingly enough, what each of them believes makes them unique is actually what they all have in common: they aren’t there to make friends, and they all really value family. If they really wanted to stand out, they’d tell the bachelor that they are there to make friends and that they are very indifferent about family.

Some girls decide to use alcohol as a lubricant for courage or calming their nerves, which turns out to be a bad idea, oddly enough. Who would have thought that becoming intoxicated wouldn’t help you make a good impression? Still others open up about deep secrets or fears or insecurities to this person they’ve only just met, not to mention to a national audience. This is crazy behavior!

The show turns love into a heated competition. I find it odd that none of these women decide that the bachelor is not a good fit for them, but the bachelor comes to find that he is ultimately incompatible or less compatible with 24 of the girls.

The show also provides the settings and circumstances where it is easy to be fooled into thinking that you might actually be falling in love. It’s all manipulated, and thus, fiction.

If you don’t believe me—and trust me, I am fully expecting to be accused of being cynical or something more harsh—there are actual statistics on the show, proving the foolishness of the people who take part in it. First of all, the chances of ending up with the bachelor are one in 25, and on this season it’s actually one in 26. After that, based on the 10 years this show has aired, three out of the 24 actual couples are still together. How romantic.

If you watch “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette,” I sincerely hope it’s not to give you hope or make you believe in love. However, if it’s for the comedic value and the entertainment, then I wholeheartedly approve.