Drunk in Love

Zach Patrick-Riley

Dear ZPR,
All right: My significant other has come down with a bad flu, and one of the best parties of the year is this Saturday night! I want to go out and party hardy, but I feel it is my duty as a boyfriend to stay in with her. What should I do?
Signed, TornDear Torn,
The cliché answer to your quandary would be for me to tell you to be a dedicated boyfriend and stay in with your girlfriend. But guess what? I am going to advise against it, and here’s why (the proceeding advice goes for all genders, as always):

If you always place your significant other before yourself, than are you neglecting yourself? Are you living your life the way you want to?

Sure, spending time with your girlfriend may make you happier than anything else, but that’s easy to say when you do not do things without her. I am not advising to totally neglect her while she is bedridden, but take it as some time for both of you to take some space. If she is sick enough to miss out on one of the best parties of the year, then she should be resting up and taking it as easy as possible — not playing kissy time or doctor with you.

Go out for the night and have a great time. You can still give your girlfriend a couple calls during the night, but do not spend all evening walking around a hopping party singing your get-well songs into the phone — that doesn’t count as going out.

I understand what it feels like to be madly in love and want to be around the cause of your butterflies continuously. However, looking back at the times when I gave up going out to be an unlicensed nurse for someone else, they are simply regrettable.

If you are so serious that you hate to spend a night apart, then you probably have a lot of time and nights to spend together — like the rest of your life. But when your kids are asking you, “Hey Daddy, what was college like? Tell me a story from a wild party you went to!” and all you can think of are the times when you and your girlfriend (now wife) had a few other couples over for a movie night, you will feel inadequate.

If you are worried about your sick girlfriend’s feelings getting hurt, then here are a couple of things you can do before going out. Give her a bouquet of tissues, a get-well card, some multivitamins, or some homemade chicken- or tofu-noodle soup. There is a difference between being dedicated to your partner and being absolutely inseparable.

Regardless of possibly hurting your girlfriend’s feelings, it is still better in the long run. You both need to understand that although your hearts belong to one another, you are still separate people. Break free of your chronic attachment to one another, put down this paper and go have yourself some fun. I’m not kidding — why the heck are you still reading this?

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