LU moves into the future, implements Internet intensive courses-ep -ama

The GERs are getting a facelift starting in the 2008-09 school year. Following a recent trend towards increased Internet use, Lawrence has declared oral communication a dead art.
The decision comes after a series of violent protests took place last term. The university has decided to remove the speaking intensive requirement from the general education requirements completely, replacing it with a new “Internet intensive” requirement, which will challenge students to master such skills as varied as blogging, e-mailing, facebooking, myspaceing, googling, wikipediaing, and youtubing.
While the uproarious protests on the green last term were a serious turning point, they were coupled with a recent discovery made by Lawrence archivist Julie Stringfellow. It turns out that the speaking intensive requirement, with its notoriously limited list of classes, has been a point of serious contention amongst Lawrentians for roughly 150 years, since the first Public Speaking Practicum took place. Stringfellow recovered and restored the diary of Jennifer McDuff, a member of Lawrence’s second graduating class, which chronicles a harsh winter term of blowing blizzards, rodent infestations, and, discussed most heatedly, a really annoying classmate in her speaking practicum.
Lawrence has now realized that the future must be brighter for its students. A Plantz freshman, tracked down in the lounge where he had been living for what looked and smelled like weeks, heartily agreed with the decision.
Speaking without withdrawing his gaze from his slightly roughed-up PowerBook, he said, “You know, who even talks anymore? Really. I read ‘The Onion’ online and write in my blog about 67 times a day, which usually takes about five or six hours every day, if I’m diligent. This should basically make me a straight A student, you know?”
Professors find themselves torn on the subject. Professor Garth Bond, an enthusiastic supporter of Moodle, is not entirely against the idea as he routinely finds himself frustrated with students who suffer from unbalanced Internet skills, having trouble turning assignments in on time via Moodle, but finding no problem creating fake Facebook accounts for him.