Letter to the Editor

To the Editor,
J-Board sucks. A couple weeks ago, after some beer pong with my bros, I was out and about campus when a stranger accosted me. I responded to this attack peacefully and tried to defuse the situation, so imagine my surprise when I received a letter from Dean Truesdell. My attacker had lied to her, saying that I “was screaming at people and throwing beer bottles at them.” The letter said that I had to go to J-Board over the incident.
This accusation is totally bogus. I was a little drunk, but I was definitely not doing any of that stuff. Unfortunately, those douche-bags on J-Board are too stupid to recognize who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. Now if I get in trouble one more time I have to move out of the house.
The whole situation is retarded and could have been avoided if those gays on J-Board would just lighten up. Even if I had been tossing empties, who cares? I have been mistreated by J-Board and deserve an apology, or at least a get out of jail free card or something – Anonymous