So I haven’t actually heard the new Vampire Weekend CD, or know what it’s called, but I do know that it will be the best CD of 2008. How do I know this? Easy. All the blogs — like Gorilla vs. Bear, Good Weather for Airstrikes and Pitchfork — said they’re the greatest thing and they’re never wrong. Also, they were on the cover of Spin, and they looked so cute! Plus, they all went to Columbia which is an Ivy League school and everyone in Ivy leagues is smart so they must be smart and smart people always do everything right so they’re album has to be good. But first I want to talk about cute they looked in Spin. They were all smiling on the cover, which is so refreshing. I mean, you can look at pictures of bands like Interpol and the White Stripes, and they have good clothes and everything, but they look so ****mean****. And their clothes were the best. Their lead singer was wearing a J. Press shirt, and the guitarist was wearing a Marc Jacobs shirt, and the bassist was wearing a Penguin shirt, and the drummer was wearing some really tight Buckler jeans. They just looked so happy and perfect. Oh and how can I forget! They don’t wear T-shirts on stage, as a rule! I mean, that’s just respectable — I wish other bands would follow their lead. And their lead singer only wears boat shoes! Ezra Koening, the lead singer, is a fourth generation Ivy Leaguer. That means he’s like a genius. And I bet if I listened to the album, I could tell. In the Spin interview, he said that he likes postcolonial literary theory! I actually heard one of their songs, called “Oxford Comma.” At first I didn’t like it because the guitar line was kind of annoying, but then I was like, “They are singing about grammar. That is the cutest thing ever.” And they were swearing too! The main chorus goes, “who the f*** cares about an oxford comma,” which is so innovative because they were being racy about something that only old women care about. This album should get an 11 out of 10 because it’s really revolutionary. There has never been a band as cute and cool as Vampire Weekend, and blogs are never wrong about new music. Their album (whatever it’s called) is definitely the best album of the year.