Strange but true…

Does it really matter?To the dismay of many a tennis fan, nude photos of Anna Kournikova will not be in the June issue of Penthouse magazine.

Why the confusion? A jewelry salesman sold videotape footage of a topless woman on the beach to the magazine, claiming it was the young tennis star. However, he testified at a hearing this past Tuesday that the sunbather was in fact not Kournikova, but Judith Soltesz-Benetton, the daughter-in-law of Italian fashion designer Luciano Benetton.

The hearing will decide whether the magazine will be forced to recall unsold issues of the magazine that feature Soltesz-Bennetton with a Kournikova caption.

The salesman, Frank Ramaesiri of St. Louis, testified that the footage of Soltesz-Bennetton he took several years ago bore a striking resemblance to Kournikova because of the diameter of her nipples.

While Ramaesiri admits to never having seen Kournikova in a match, he based his judgment on an Internet picture of her drenched in sweat while wearing a tennis dress.

Bob Guccione, the founder of Penthouse, agreed that there were many physical similarities between the women, namely their rib cages and how they extended their pinkies.

Ramaesiri apologized profusely to both women, saying, “It was unfathomable that it wasn’t Anna Kournikova. Until I saw Ms. Benetton, I thought it was Ms. Kournikova. I’m probably the last to know. I’m very sorry I made a mistake.”

Both Kournikova and Soltesz-Bennetton are suing the magazine for damages of up to $10 million.

Pussy galore

In Nova Scotia, a Canadian family had to take cover when their Siamese cat went insane.

The cat, Cacao, began by attacking the baby-sitter in the early afternoon. From there, she attacked the father, clawing at his legs and ripping his pants and flesh. After several attempts were made to calm the animal, the family called the police and waited on their lawn, out of harm’s way.

It took twenty minutes for the police to capture the cat using a blanket and a clothes hamper. Eventually, Cacao was secured in a pet holder and brought to the vet for examination.

One officer described Cocoa as “a Siamese cat with an attitude problem.”

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